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The Downsides of Youth Ministry

The lock-ins.  The fast food.  The hormones.  The drama.  The smell.  The pay.

I’ll admit it.  There are a few down sides of Youth ministry.  Sure, the pluses far outweigh the minuses, but there are still a few minuses. 

I remember during one of my youth ministry internships the youth pastor was genuinely mourning the downfall of one of his students.  He had always been a great kid, but for some reason decided to turn left and walked away from the church, some friendships, and his faith.  He didn't necessarily dive head first into a bunch of destructive behaviors.  He just gave up on his faith.

I didn't completely understand why this was so devastating at the time.  Sure, it was a little bit of a bummer that the guy wasn't coming to church any more.  But it didn't seem like that big of a deal.
Now that I have been doing this ministry thing for quite a while now, I completely understand why it was such a big deal. 

1.  As pastors we heavily invest ourselves relationally into the lives of students.  So when someone decides they want to make different choices with their lives, many times they close the door on their relationship with me.  That hurts.

2.  I am convinced that following Jesus is the absolute best way to live.  When a student disagrees I just want to shake them.  I want to remind them of so many of the things they have learned over the years.  And I want to will them into different choices and a better grasp on life.  That rarely works and I sometimes have to watch someone I love and care about walk down a pretty dark road.  I know some of the stuff down that road, but they don't.  I wish they would just take my word for it.

3.  It's hard to be a pastor and not love the people you are pastoring.  And like it or not, you get some favorites along the way.  The bottom line is when you love and care about someone, you want the best for them.  This isn't theory or philosophy.  This is real life.  As I write this I have real faces and real names running through my mind.  Faces and names that break my heart.

The good news is I'm not going to stop caring for them.  And I'm not going to stop loving them.  And sometimes we get to have coffee together again and laugh.

Jason Raitz

A few years ago I met Jason Raitz who is a Middle School ministry guy up at Willow Creek Community Church.  We talked on the phone some, emailed some, and got to hang out at a Youth Specialties conference. 

A couple of days ago I found out that Jason's house burnt down.  The good news is that no one was seriously injured, just his brother getting a few burns and breathed in some smoke.  You can read the whole story here. 

Jason has had quite a few trials this past few years and this is just unbelievable.  I am glad that so many people in his community are wrapping their arms around Jason and his family.  I am certain they are being well taken care of.  But honestly, I don't think there is any amount of care that is going to speed him and his family through this devastating time.  The fear, the anxiety, the sadness, the loss.  It's all so enormous.

What I am doing is praying for Jason and his family.  I am praying that God would move in close.  That they would sense comfort.  That they would find moments of rest. 

I'm asking that you would pray for them as well. 

President Barack Obama

The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know.  Pray especially for rulers and their governments to rule well so we can be quietly about our business of living simply, in humble contemplation.  This is the way our Savior God wants us to live.

I Timothy 2:1-3 (The Message)

Randomness

• I've been a little lacking on this blogging thing.  Not sure why.
• I have been trying to write more.  Not necessarily blog writing, just writing.  Maybe that's why I've been lacking.
• Our winter retreat is coming up in a couple of weekends.  It's my favorite part of our ministry year.  We have a ton of fun and I get to spend good quality time with people I don't normally get to.
• I am really excited about the inauguration.  It doesn't matter who you voted for...this is historic and very cool.  Plus I am a sucker for hype!
• Next week I am going to Dallas for the Innovation conference.  It's been a long time since I have been to a conference.  We'll see how it goes.
• Apparently President Bush is moved out of the White House and President Obama is moved into the White House on January 20th.  I guess it takes about 4 hours total to do the whole thing.  That's pretty fascinating to me.
• I will be celebrating MLK day today by going to work.

Creativity

I've been looking for some creative outlets lately.  It turns out playing playdoh, legos, trains, and watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in your free time doesn't conjure up too much creativity.  Not to mention it's winter and a cold is being perpetually passed around our family.

So, some of the easiest ways for me to be inspired and get creativity moving is to watch movies and read books.  Here are the movies and books on my list (in no particular order):

Movies:

• Marley and Me
• Valkyrie
• Seven Pounds
• Slumdog Millionaire
• Gran Torino
• The Wrestler

Books:

• The Blue Parakeet
• Outliers
• Refuel

Any other suggestions?

Home search

Rachel and I are neck deep in this house hunting search.  We've been leisurely looking for the past year and a half but just have not been ready to buy.  We are now in a good place to buy and the market seems to be in our favor.  So here we go.

It's an interesting journey in searching for a home.  For us this isn't an investment.  This isn't a tax write off.  This isn't a wise financial move.  It is much more than that for us. 

It's a place where we want to raise our kids.  It's a place we want to entertain people.  It's a place we want to make memories.  It's a place we want to own the deed to.

Sound like a lot of pressure?  Well it is!  Finding the right place, at the right price, in the right location, with the right floor plan, the right amount of yard, and the right amount of scenery is a tall task.  So far our stress levels have stayed fairly low.  And our mental well being is pretty steady. 

The good news is we can take our time.  There is nothing that says we have to buy right NOW.  So that is what we are holding on to. 

Relax.  Enjoy the search.  Find a good home.

Here's a sneak peak at one of the houses on the top of our list....

Reflection

I don't do New Years resolutions.  Mostly because you never hear of anyone (seriously ANYONE) following through on those things.  I can't ever recall a conversation or an article that I read about a person celebrating following through on their resolution.  But I have read about and talked to A LOT of people who have not followed through and feel guilty about it.  The last thing I need is more guilt in my life!

What I do like about a New Year is a chance to reflect about the past year and dream about the coming year.  Here's my first shot:

Reflections on 2008:

• Caden turned 3 and Claire turned 1!  I love my kids and I loved getting to know them better and better.
• Rachel and I celebrated 8 years of marriage!  I've never felt closer and more content in our relationship.  It sounds cliche, but she is my best friend.  There is no one in the world I would rather spend time with.
• It feels like a lot has changed with my job.  Officially my job description changed to Middle School Pastor.  But really our team has just grown and reshaped.  It's fun and we have a great team.  I love working with all of them.
• Rachel and I paid off a TON of debt this year.  Our house not selling in Indiana in 2007 hurt us pretty bad.  But we worked hard and got it taken care of!  Seriously...it's a miracle.
• I got to do a bunch of weddings this past year.  I liked it much more than I expected.  It's really fun being a part of someone's special day.
• I love traveling and got to go to a few really cool places (The Outer Banks in NC, Nashville, Oklahoma City, Chicago, and Table Rock lake a few times.)
• I loved Christmas this year.  It's not typically a holiday I enjoy very much for several reasons, but this year I really liked it.
• I had a few pretty large stretches where I worked out really regularly.  It feels good to be healthy.

Dreams for 2009

• I hope I can love Rachel more intently and more tangibly this year than any other year.
• I hope I can love and cherish my kids.  I don't want to rush through anything.
• I hope to travel more this year.  I love seeing the world...it inspires me and gives me a much larger perspective than the small atmosphere around me.
• I'm sure my job will continue to change this year.  It seems to be the trend and I like it.  I hope I can more fully understand what it means to be a pastor.  I'm not sure we'll ever really fully grasp it.
• I hope to invest much more of myself in my friendships.  I have some really important and special friendships in my life and I don't lean into them near enough.
• It looks like we are going to buy a house this year.  I hope we make a good, smart, wise decision.  I hope we find a house that we will all love.  I plan on making years of memories in this place!
• I have some big plans personally.  I'm excited.  We'll see what happens.
• I hope to keep working out regularly.  I actually get to work out with Rachel a couple of days a week and I LOVE that time we get together. 

All in all I am thankful for a really good 2008 and I am excited for what 2009 will bring!