A guy I work with had an interesting chat with a Charter representative. First of all, it's hilarious. Second of all, props to the Charter lady. She played along quite well.
You really should read all the way through. It gets really funny about 1/2 way through.
Thank you for choosing Charter Chat Live! A Customer Care representative
from Cable TV Order Inquiries will be with you shortly.
You have been connected to CVW Kelly .
CVW Kelly : Hello, this is Kelly. Thanks for contacting Charter. How may I help you today?
mike mike: Where can I find info online about the $9.99 basic cable deal that has been advertised? My zip is 63011
CVW Kelly : I’ll be happy to help you with information on our cable
services. We can make sure we have the right package for you and if you
wish, set up an install. Can I have your first and last name please?
mike mike: No. Can you just give me a link?
CVW Kelly : There is no information online. I can provide you with the
information you need once I can determine serviceability.
CVW Kelly : To determine if we service your address please let me start by getting your Full Address,Zip and Phone number.
CVW Kelly : Please give me five minutes while I verify the serviceability of your address.
CVW Kelly : Great news! Charter telephone, cable and internet services
are available at your address. So, now let’s find out what package
works best for you.
mike mike: The 9.99 package works best for me
CVW Kelly : The $9.99 cable deal is for Basic cable only.
CVW Kelly : This is about 20 channels, mainly local.
mike mike: good, so how would someone go about getting that?
CVW Kelly : If you go to Charter.com, Cable and View Channels In Your
Area, you will get a listing of all the channels in your area. To the
right of the channel is the category it is in. Please let me know when
you are there.
mike mike: there
CVW Kelly : You should be able to see the Basic channels.
CVW Kelly : What do you like to watch on TV?
mike mike: Cspan
CVW Kelly : The Basic will work for you then.
mike mike: I know.
CVW Kelly : What do you do for your Phone and Internet services at this time?
mike mike: what do you mean by "Internet"?
CVW Kelly : Do you have a computer?
mike mike: I think so
CVW Kelly : Do you have internet services on that computer?
mike mike: yes
CVW Kelly : Who provides those services for you?
mike mike: Explorer
CVW Kelly : Based on the information you have provided, we can set you up with Phone, Internet and
Basic Cable services for $69.97 per month for the next 12 months.
mike mike: I already have a phone
CVW Kelly : We could bring that phone service over to Charter for you.
CVW Kelly : Do you do much long distance calling?
mike mike: to who?
mike mike: My mom lives in Virginia
CVW Kelly : Do you pay for long distance calling?
mike mike: she calls me
CVW Kelly : Okay. We do have a very nice phone package.
CVW Kelly : Our Phone package is an Unlimited Local and Long Distance package with calling to
anywhere in the US, Canada or Puerto Rico. It comes with 10 calling features and free voice mail.
CVW Kelly : Then you could call her.
mike mike: I should call my mom sometimes
CVW Kelly : Well, would you like us to set you up with Phone service? Then you could.
mike mike: What about Wisconsin?
CVW Kelly : Our Phone package is an Unlimited Local and Long Distance
package with calling to anywhere in the US, Canada or Puerto Rico. It
comes with 10 calling features and free voice mail.
mike mike: Does that include Wisconsin?
CVW Kelly : Yes.
mike mike: Do you have any Inter-Web access plans?
CVW Kelly : That is Internet service. yes we do.
CVW Kelly : Tell me, what do you use the internet for?
mike mike: about 2 or 3 hours each day
CVW Kelly : So what do you think. Would you like us to set up that bundle for you?
mike mike: Can I use Google?
mike mike: .com
CVW Kelly : Yes.
mike mike: So I get the Cable, Phone, and Interweb for $9.99 for a year?
CVW Kelly : No, you get the Phone, Internet and Cable for $69.97 per month.
mike mike: Whoa!
mike mike: Is it an iPhone or a regular phone?
CVW Kelly : This is regular phone service.
mike mike: How many minutes are included per month?
CVW Kelly : Our Phone package is an Unlimited Local and Long Distance
package with calling to anywhere in the US, Canada or Puerto Rico. It
comes with 10 calling features and free voice mail.
mike mike: Ok. What if my mom calls and I don't answer the phone?
CVW Kelly : We have free voice mail. She could leave you a message.
mike mike: On the computer?
CVW Kelly : No, on the phone.
CVW Kelly : Isn't that something?
mike mike: wierd
mike mike: Oh. Does this plan include any texting?
CVW Kelly : No.
CVW Kelly : Only on the internet.
mike mike: what about email?
CVW Kelly : You can get up to 10 e mail addresses with our internet service.
mike mike: what would I do with 10 email addresseses?
CVW Kelly : You could have a e mail address for everybody in your household.
mike mike: It's just me and my wife and our dog
mike mike: so I only need 3
CVW Kelly : then that is what you could have.
mike mike: is that cheaper?
CVW Kelly : No, the internet rate is the same. The number of e mail addresses is just a bonus feature.
mike mike: Not much of a bonus for me
CVW Kelly : Well, that's what it is.
mike mike: How many people do you know that have 10 people in their household?
mike mike: legally, I mean
CVW Kelly : A few. Some people may use more than 1 e mail address for themselves.
mike mike: How many phone numbers can I have?
mike mike: 10?
CVW Kelly : We can set you up with extra numbers but they would cost extra.
CVW Kelly : You get 1 number with the phone package.
mike mike: How about this... give me 3 emails, and 7 phone numbers
mike mike: that's 10
CVW Kelly : No can do.
mike mike: what about 3 emails and 3 phone numbers?
CVW Kelly : No can do
mike mike: What if someone wants to call my dog?
CVW Kelly : Sorry.
CVW Kelly : But for an extra $3.50 per month we could get a distinctive ring for your Dog.
mike mike: Can I get a ring that only he can hear?
CVW Kelly : No. They don't make rings in that frequency.
mike mike: I'll have to talk to him and see what he says about all this.
mike mike: I have to get going. The Interweb closes at 4:00
CVW Kelly : Were you interested in getting services set up tyoday?
mike mike: when?
CVW Kelly : We could set up an order for you and get an install in the next couple days.
mike mike: I have to check with my wife... and my dog
CVW Kelly : Is there anything else I can help you with today?
mike mike: Do you know the phone number for google.com?
CVW Kelly : No I don't.
mike mike: then no
CVW Kelly : Thank you for using Charter Communications' Chat Support. Your session has ended. You may now close this window.
Hey Rob,
My name is Eric Ketzer, and I am a Manager with Charter Communications. Now that was a good read, but can you please tell Mike to be nicer to our Agents, she was just trying to get him into the best package for his family, dog included...LOL Just Kidding; I will pass this along to our Chat Manager.
If you (or Mike) need any questions answered, please let me know.
Thanks, Eric
Posted by: Eric Ketzer | February 26, 2009 at 02:14 PM
That was funny. The comment, too! What do you mean "nicer"? I used to work on the phones and the internet at a catalog company. A conversation like that would have made my day.
Posted by: emily | February 26, 2009 at 03:45 PM
How did he find this? The internet is so creepy sometimes. Well I better go, the interweb has been closed for almost an hour and half.
Posted by: Chris | February 26, 2009 at 05:20 PM
dude... I read this on my phone on an airplane and laughed out loud multiple times. Mike is one funny dude.
Posted by: andy | February 26, 2009 at 08:29 PM
OMG! I did a google search to see how much BASIC cable is. Came across tis and peed my pants laughing. LOVE IT!
Posted by: claudiaghansen | January 23, 2010 at 12:39 PM
No man can be brave who considers pain the greatest evil of life; or temperate , who regards pleasure as the highest good. Do you think so?
Posted by: Nike Jordan | January 24, 2011 at 09:10 PM
CVW Kelly : Hello, this is Kelly. Thanks for contacting Charter. How may I help you today?
mike mike: Where can I find info online about the $9.99 basic cable deal that has been advertised? My zip is 63011
CVW Kelly : I’ll be happy to help you with information on our cable services. We can make sure we have the right package for you and if you wish, set up an install. Can I have your first and last name please?
mike mike: No. Can you just give me a link?
Posted by: True Religion Outlet | March 28, 2011 at 10:45 PM